Are Chinese people just rude? Are Vietnamese too polite?

I've been to China a few times now, so there shouldn't be too many things that surprise me anymore. However, there are things that I still find hard to get used to probably because of the cultural differences; but not between China and the US, but between China and Vietnam.

People often ask me, "What's the difference between the Chinese and the Vietnamese?" I've usually answered something like, "Vietnamese and Chinese cultures are a lot alike, mainly because Vietnam was a part of China for more than a thousand years. But, the Vietnamese like their independence. We have our own music and literature. Vietnamese while the majority are Buddhist, are more often Christian or Catholic than the Chinese. As with food, Vietnamese use fish sauce almost in every dish." Today, I can add something else.

Don't ask me why, but I decided to try some Korean food for a late lunch/early dinner. I know, I'm in China, should be eating Chinese food. Anyways, I ordered some bibimbap; but not with beef, a fish version. (I wonder if it's still called bibimbap if it's fish and not beef?) Would this be like the fish pho that's I've seen in the "Vietnamese" restaurants in Koreantown? (Sounds horrible doesn't it, fish pho?)

Well, the bibimbap wasn't bad. Maybe needed a few more veggies, but the sauce was just too hot. I've got to start telling the waitresses "bu la" (not spicy) or at least "xiao la" (a little spicy). There's got to be problem when I need to eat the kimchee to cool off my mouth so that I can eat the main dish! I don't know if the problem is with me or with the food. The soup that came with it helped a lot, though.

Anyways, towards the end of my meal, a lot of the other customers were also finished and wanted to leave. They started yelling "jie zhang" (settle my bill) or "mai dan" (check). This always makes me a little uncomfortable. I'm so used to just going up to the register in a Vietnamese restaurant and just paying. It's hard to make myself yell to get the waitress' attention. All this yelling makes the Chinese seem so rude. (Maybe with so many people in China you need to do things a little differently to draw attention to yourself.)

In other situations too, in the market buying thing, Chinese are so abrupt in bargaining, etc. The worst is when there are a lot of customers and one server/seller. Chinese people almost never form a line; they just shove to the front, first come first serve. In these situations, one of my white friends who speaks Chinese likes to yell "pai dui, pai dui" (line up, line up). When a foreigner says this, it usually shames the Chinese to also yell "pai dui" and to form a line. I probably can't get away with this because I look too Chinese, ha!

It's not just a cultural difference though, there's a difference in the languages, too. The Chinese 4th tone starts high and abruptly falls low, which sounds like yelling to the Vietnamese ear. At least I got used to that sound difference now that I know some Chinese. I've got other stories to tell of course, of Vietnamese being seemingly polite while they are busy ripping you off in front of your face. For another time, maybe.